Feb. 6th, 2012

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In spite of leaving Livejournal, I realized that sometimes I still do wanna write about things in my life. Twitter gives me limited use of characters, Facebook confuses my non-nerdy friends and no one gives a shit about what you say on tumblr.

Anyway, I had an interested winter where I drank too much, worked on cosplay and had a few psychotic episodes. I'm realizing that I spend a lot of my time thinking that I have my aspergers under control because I can make eye-contact and not talk non-stop about the life lessons learned in My Little Pony.

But what I'm realizing is that a very common by product of aspergers is anxiety, and this I have not gotten under control, and if anything, I think it's gotten worse for whatever reason. I don't view myself as an unstable or manipulative person, but when I have an anxiety attack, all of these negative traits come out, and I do know that it has hurt and driven away a lot of people I care about.

For their sanity, and mine, it's important that I actually take steps to prevent it, and not just "ok. I'll try not to get upset" The anxiety is not a constant thing, but when it does happen, it's very hard to reel back in. My current goal is to seek out a therapist and with a combination of cognitive behavioral therapy and medical marijuana, learn how to deal with my anxiety when it comes around.

Oh, but I did end up going to Australia.


cut for images of lizards )

Hopefully, I'll continue writing here about various things, like school and maybe some fandom stuff.

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March 2012

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